Lately I've been diving into revisions on my thesis.  My pile of research books, draft pages, and notebooks have conquered the dining room table, along with the chocolate cake I got to motivate me to sit down there every day. Alas, not much actual progress has happened so far.  I've largely been reviewing material and taking notes for the sections that I need to expand on.

I made a schedule for myself for the next week to keep my days structured, else I lapse into pissing away half the day on rss feeds.  I've tried this technique before with limited success.  I think this is due in a large part to committing myself towards entirely too ambitious ten hour workdays with no breaks.  

I've made sure to schedule in time to get ready and eat breakfast in the mornings, email checking time, then a series of work time stints in hour and a half stretches, as that's how long it usually takes me to get restless.  I've scheduled in breaks, time for lunch, time for doing chores, time for checking my rss feeds, time for playing with cats, time for writing on whatever other side project I want (which is The Novel, at the moment), time for errand-running if needed, time for dinner, time for running to the gym,and a firm End of Day time, after which I am free to log into World of Warcraft,  knit, read for pleasure, catch up on the Buffy episodes at Hulu, play Mass Effect, or whatever else I need to do to decompress.  

I've also been extra-reaffirming to myself that yes, research is /work/, and just because I didn't end the day with sever shiny new, perfect pages of revised materials does not mean that I was slacking.  


I've started rereading Heinlein's Stranger in a Strange Land on a lark, for the first time since high school.  I'm now in much less of a position to be awed by his staggering messianic libertarianism, but I'm suprised at just how similar my response is.  I still find the first stretch of the book gripping and transportive and witty, and the latter part a perfect shitstorm of WTF. 

I have returned home from an extended visit with darcvader .

Blacksburg was even lovelier than I remembered it, most likely because the last spring I was there my allergies were killing me.

Regardless, it's good to be home to my own little fluffy black cat, perched on the back of my chair, purring and headbutting me in the ear.

I keep meaning to post here, but life intervenes. 

Recently a good friend of my sister's died of lymphoma.  I will probably be making a trip down to Virginia to keep her company for a few days and bake her lots of tasty things and make sure she doesn't have to worry about housekeeping.


So it goes.

Roaring Girl of You're Reading Too Much Into It has an excellent and thoughtful response to the Solve Sundsbo photo shoot of Gisele Bunchen

Let The Right One In is simultaneously one of the most horrifying and heartwarming movies I have seen in my life.

Set in Sweden, it's about an isolated and lonely boy named  Oskar,  who doesn't get along with his mother and is mercilessly bullied at school. He has a morbid mind and fantasizes about power and revenge.  One day he meets a mysterious girl named Eli who recently moved into his apartment complex.  Like him, she is solitary and antisocial, and he senses a kindred spirit in her.

However, what Oskar does not know is that Eli is a vampire responsible for a string of murders in their neighborhood. One might imagine that this complicates things a bit, but the relationship that develops between them is no less genuine for this fact. What unfolds is a tender story of two feral creatures learning to let down their guard with each other.  This is where the real genius of the movie lies.  Vampirism becomes the perfect metaphor for the little horrors and brutality of childhood, the anxieties over sexuality and bodily transformation, and an obsession with power. Eli is the embodiment of  everything he wishes he was, consciously or no. She has the power to kill without remorse and superhuman strength. She's the ultimate predator and never a victim, and yet they both share an acute vulnerability during the daylight hours. 

Let the Right One In is not your standard American horror movie.  It's slow. The atmosphere is cold and sparse and silent.  And much of the horror lies not in the scenes of murder and bloodletting at the hands at the creatures of the night, but with Oskar's everyday school life.  The scenes in which we get a glimpse of just how much Oskar yearns for love and acceptance are absolutely heartbreaking. He survives the best he can in a world that he knows cannot protect him from victimization.  Authority figures are either disinterested or powerless, and when he's apart from Eli he's proverbially alone in the wilderness. The scenes where Oscar is being tormented by his peers are simply brilliant. The pain is visceral, and there's a palpable sense that all involved are enslaved by the need for violence and power and domination. 

I've been friending a fair amount of random people through poking around dreamchasers and interest searches to flesh out my reading list as I settle in here at DW.  It occurs to me that I ought to put up an introductory post for the benefit of anyone who drops by to investigate.  So!


I go by Leighton here, a nick derived from my middle name that I've grown fond of. I am in my late twenties and live with my fiance (who will likely be referred to as the Boy here) in a house he inherited from his grandparents near St. Louis.  I've grown quite fond of my new little city, largely because of this place. We are owned by two cats named Ash and Dinah.  Dinah was a rescue from the pound that we adopted for my birthday last year, and I found Ash as a stray kitten who was hanging out around where I lived during my last year of graduate school.  I have a bit of a soft spot for cute animals.

I have a degree in English Lit and just finished grad school with a focus in Rhetoric and Composition.  I am currently a recovering academic trying to decide what the next step is.  Prepare to read my intrepid accounts of trying to figure out what I want to be when I grow up.

At the moment I keep myself busy with fretting over finishing my thesis, some freelance writing here and there, and the hobbies I've taken up lately.  I knit.  I crochet.  I'm taking baby steps learning to sew.  I'm beginning to dabble in photography.  I am also a gamer of the tabletop variety, a hobby that has been dear to me for several, several years.  I play video and computer games now and then, but not nearly so much as I used to. I read voraciously, both literary and genre fiction. 

My day-to-day blogging will likely regard the books I'm reading, the movies and television I'm watching, the things I'm making, the places I go, or whatever shiny thing grabs my interest that day.  I am also very likely to discuss my struggles with depression and anxiety.  The occasional sociopolitical post is likely to be related to sexism, racism, or classism. I read quite a bit of media criticism regarding those issues.

Politically, I lean very far to the left.  My marxist feminist rhetoric brings all the boys to the yard.

My religious beliefs are complicated.  I'm a very postmodern atheist who believes strongly in metaphors.


As a final word of warning, I detest archaic rules of grammar that ignore the ways that language is actually used.  I end sentences with prepositions with abandon.   I hold no ill will against the passive voice.  I enjoy the occasionall stylistic fragment. And I love adverbs.  One can simply never have too many.

So lately I've been learning to sew. I've been browsing Etsy for design inspiration for purses and other various and sundry accessories. Now for a massive link dump so I can close some Firefox tabs!

• Funky Chic Designs.  I like Garden Grafitti and French Postcards.
• FIAZCO. I love frame clutches and coinpurses.  Simple yet elegant. Nice variety of patterns I like, florals, damasks, and fun modern prints.  I particularly like the Megan line, which features oversized floral prints.
• Red Ruby Rose also has lovely frame clutches in both contemporary and vintage prints.  I like the chartreuse peony the nostalgic lily-of-the-valley. They are a bit pricey, though.
• Seller katwhitt has lovely handbags in beautiful patterns ranging from bright and modern to elegant florals, and her quilted bags are in very lovely complimentary fabrics, even though I generally don't go for that style. I particularly like this little bag in an Amy Butler print fabric. Her clutch wristlets are also very cute.

I really must find some place that sells purse frames. 

I am thumbing through Self-Coaching: The Powerful Program to Beat Anxiety and Depression, 2nd Edition, Completely Revised and Updated in preparation for making my first daily log entry. (I've been looking for a structured self-help system to supplement my medication and therapy sessions).

I'm not sure how I made it past the first chapter in which the author makes the claim that anxiety and depression should not be given the label of diseases or illnesses; they are merely habits that the person who suffers from them indulges in because of insecurity. I can see both advantages and disadvantages in this view. For me, as one who struggled with guilt that I was just weak and my problems were all my fault for being 'too sensitive' or 'just worrying too much' or 'lazy,' validation of my anxiety as a genuine medical condition was essential. Getting over the bootstrap mentality that I had to just buck up and deal was the best thing that I ever did for myself. Trying to force myself to act 'normal' just created an endless cycle of guilt and frustration.

Furthermore, I think the label of 'just a habit' sells the people who spend their daily lives struggling and fighting against it tremendously short.


It's a sticky catch twenty-two in that in order to fight depression, on some level you have to believe that you can win. Luciani seems to hold that the best way to instill that sense of hope in depression sufferers is by diminishing the condition. I think I'm going to have to agree to disagree with him on that point.

On the other hand, it makes a lot of sense that the circular thought patterns generated by anxiety and depression are habits generated by insecurity. Both excessive worrying and disengagement are strategies to keep yourself feeling in control of the situation. I know that rings true for me, personally.

I also think there's a lot of value in making a conscious effort to diffuse and rebut negative self-talk, which is really the core of his self-coaching system, and for that reason I'm giving it a chance. I think a systematic method for documenting and analyzing my internal stuggle will be beneficial in giving me a sense of autonomy from my condition. My ultimate goal is to be Sarah at the end of Labyrinth, when she tells the Goblin King 'You have no power over me.'

In order to inaugurate my Dreamwidth journal, I shall overindulge in a grand fashion.

Boyshort underpants are the most comfortable in all the world!